This year is a year for many changes, and one of the biggest is my commitment to lose weight, and get in shape. January 1, 2010 I weighed 257.7 lbs. I am not even embarrassed to admit that, because it is a number that I will never see again. It is also JUST a number, and cannot define who I am. There has never been a small person. I was never an exceptionally large child, but I always had a pooch of belly fat that my mother (who meant well) affectionatley called my "baby fat". "You'll lose it someday" she would say. Well, I turned 30 this year, and when I look down I can still see that same belly fat. And I haven't lost it yet.
This year a pivotal moment happened in my life. My whole life, I have always accepted my weight and body size, and contributed it to the fact that my father is morbidly obese. Although every January I work toward my weight loss goals, around March every year, I get frustrated, justify my weight, and give up. I then proceed to gain 10 or 15 more lbs. "It's genetic anyway" I would tell myself. "There's no point in losing it anyway. It would be impossible to keep off. My metabolism is just out of wack. I got it from my dad."
Well, even though this year, I started the same resolution to lose weight, and felt more commited then I ever had, this pivotal moment happened. It's simply this. I was watching Larry King Live, and Jillian Michaels, and Carny Wilson were the guests. Carny was talking about how hard it is to lose weight, and Jillian was telling her how hard it is NOT to. Now because Carny had lost and gained so many times in her life, I believe that she had a leg to stand on in this argument. I related so much to her. Well, Carnie said, "No Jillian! It really is hard! It's genetic. You can only fight genetics for so long!" Jillian snapped right back and said, "No Carny, you can only BLAME genetics for so long."
It was a wonderful moment in my life. I decided right then and there, that my parents were not to blame for my weight, nor were they responsible for changing it. As well as neither was my husband or children's who love me as much as they do. I do not have to lose weight to be "better" or look better....I just need to develop a lifestyle change that will make me healthier, feel better, and give me longeiveity to my life that is very much needed so I can take care of my beautiful family and allow me to set a better example for them. Most of all, I need to do it for myself, so I can know that I can set my mind to anything and that I am capable. There will be a portion of this blog dedicated to this aspect of my life style change....